Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Girlfriend

in Relationship Jokes
+4 -11

They say opposites attract, try telling that to my short ugly girlfriend.

Smoke Alarm

in Relationship Jokes
+8 -15

Can’t believe how quickly the batteries keep running out on my smoke alarm. Really need to get my wife some cooking lessons this Christmas.

Girlfriend

in Relationship Jokes
+22 -29

My girlfriend told me today that she has 2 cunts and apparently I’m one of them.

Cupid

in Relationship Jokes
+29 -37

Why is Cupid is a symbol for love? Personally, I find the idea of an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby extremely horrifying.

Blow

in Dirty Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+46 -54

Q. Whats the best thing about getting a blow job from your girlfriend?

A. 5 minutes of silence.

Child Abuse

in Relationship Jokes
+7 -15

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!