Funny Short Jokes

I vowed to my wife that I would never hit her again, that I would find a job and raise my kids properly.The tears streamed down her face, this moment of joy would stick in my mind forever.
The moment when I said “April fools!” and dropped that gullible bitch to the ground.

Gets her every year!

My young daughter asked me this morning.

“Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?”

“Nothing darling,” I replied.

It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.