Best Funny Relationship Jokes

The following inspirational conversation took place with my dad earlier today.

Dad: There’s no such thing as “can’t”.
Me: Wow, thanks for the inspirational message dad but I was actually calling you a cunt.

I’m not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected his special resin into her crack. She hasn’t even got a car.

My dad always used to say, ‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,’ – ’till he had the accident. 

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.