Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

New bag

in Relationship Jokes
+13 -17

Got my wife a new bag and belt for Christmas. Vacuum cleaner should be like new once she fits in the new parts.

Wife Left Me

in Relationship Jokes
+5 -9

Since my wife left me I’ve been left with a really big gap to fill.. She was quite fat and we had a memory foam mattress.

LOW BATTERY

in Relationship Jokes
+5 -9

I’m currently having an affair but I’ve saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’.

Whenever she calls and I’m not around my wife plugs my phone into the charger.

Battle Uniform

in Relationship Jokes
+10 -14

Just gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I go to the bar.

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

Grenade

in Relationship Jokes
+33 -37

Q. What does a grenade and a wife have in common?
A. They both take your house and leave you hurt when you remove the ring.