Best Funny Relationship Jokes

I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old boy this morning.

As we were leaving the car park, somebody shouted, “You are an irresponsible father!”

I said, “Who the f*ck was that? Stop the car, son.”

Just bought my boyfriend a giant condom to wear on his head. If he’s gonna act like a dick he might as well dress like one as well.

I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

You know you’re getting old when your friends start having kids on purpose.