Best Funny Animal Jokes

#### Parachute For Sale ####

One parachute for sale. Only ever used once, never opened, has some red stains.

Found out today that Piranha fish can totally remove the flesh from a child’s body in under 5 minutes.
On the downside, I’ve now been fired from my job at the aquarium.

Just bought a chinchilla.
That should hopefully keep my chin nice and cool in all this heat.

A horse walks into a bar…
The bartender says “Why the long face?”

The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and leaves.

If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread-man?

What do you call a blind deer?
No eye dear.

What do you call a blind deer with a broken leg?
Still no eye dear

What do you call a blind deer with a broken leg that has been castrated?
Still no f*cking eye dear.