Best Funny General Jokes

I never realized how common Tourettes syndrome was until I got a job as a traffic warden.

Just been given a job after the following interview.

Interviewer: Do you have any experience operating heavy machinery?
Me: Does your mum count?
Interviewer: Ha ha, genius, you’re hired!

Never trust a gay vegan. They still eat meat.

Q. What’s the biggest difference between men and women?

A. The phrase “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film.” usually has a completely different meaning.

How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?

Zero. It should be open when she brings it.

That’s the last time I ever use dating websites. When I said I wanted to meet someone positive I didn’t mean HIV.