Best Funny General Jokes

Collection of general hilarious funny short jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

Swimming Pool

in General Jokes
+24 -14

Had a piss in my local swimming pool earlier this morning. Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I almost fell off the diving board.

Chickenpox

in General Jokes
+33 -23

Just had the following conversation with my boss.

Me: “Sorry I’m not coming in today. Got chickenpox.”
Boss: “Don’t give me that!”
Me: “I won’t. I’m not coming in.”

Fajitas

in General Jokes
+22 -13

I’ve just Wrote a really awesome song about fajitas… Well it’s more of a wrap really.

Fight a Woman

in General Jokes
+30 -21

How to fight against a women with a knife in 3 steps.

Step 1 – Get some bread.
Step 2 – Get some mayonnaise.
Step 3 – Tell her to make a sandwich.

Nothing Worse

in General Jokes
+36 -27

There’s nothing worse than waking up next to someone after a night out drinking and not remembering who they are, how you met them or why they are dead.

Grandad

in General Jokes
+24 -15

Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Grandad . .
Shiiit, stop the funeral!