Best Funny General Jokes

Tried to explain to my 4 year old son that pooping your pants is nothing to be ashamed of… He’s totally not buying it and he’s been making fun of me for 1 hour straight.

Just found out that I’m colourblind…

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

My parents always taught me to chase my dreams but last night the police told me that stalking women is actually illegal and if they catch me again I could be sent to jail.

Today my boss told me to “Have a good day” so I’ve decided to spend the rest of the day drinking beer.

Just had the following conversation with my doctor after getting a health check.

Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty
Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers?
Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything.

The worst part about getting fired from my job at the unemployment office was that I still had to show up the next day.