Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Jun

Sheep

By Dave

in Animal Jokes

+27 -43

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep?

A flock of dead sheep.

Dec

Venison

By Rob

in Animal Jokes

+5 -21

Just bought some venison from the supermarket, its dead deer.

Jul

Cigarettes and Cats

By Frank

in Animal Jokes

Tags: Cat Jokes

+10 -27

Q. What do cigarettes and cats have in common?

A. They’re both really bad for your health if you put them in your mouth and set fire to them.

Jun

Pandas

By Jay

in Animal Jokes

+11 -28

Q. Why do Pandas have black eyes?
A. Because they can’t satisfy their man.

Oct

Murder

By SteveP

in Animal Jokes

+15 -32

Called to police about 5 times today to report a murder on my front lawn but they keep telling me to stop bothering them. Apparently they don’t give a shit about crows.

Aug

Chimpanzee Attack

By Savvas

in Animal Jokes

+16 -34

Did you hear about the 3 zoo employees who were injured recently? They got attacked by a chimpanzee that set fire to it’s own feces using a discarded cigarette. Apparently they were rushed to the hospital with TURD degree burns.