Best Funny General Jokes

Whoever said money doesn’t grow on trees has obviously never grown weed.

I’ve decided to be super lazy today. It’s a lot like normal lazy but i’m also wearing a cape.

Heard on the radio today that bad drivers are gonna be getting £100 fines. Seems a bit sexist.

I heard if you drink every day that means your an alcoholic so I now only drink at night.

Asked a librarian the other day if she had any books about paranoia.

She whispered: “They’re right behind you.”

I had a job interview yesterday and I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

The interviewer asked “Are you nervous?”
I replied, “No, I always give 110%.”