Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

May

Zoo

By Dave

in Animal Jokes

+20 -19

Went to the zoo yesterday and an elephant tried to charge me.
I said “F*ck off, i’m not paying twice.”

Jun

Mating Call

By Roberto

in Animal Jokes, Racist Jokes

+68 -67

Mating call of a seagull: “Twert Twert!”
Mating call of an owl: “Twoo Twooo!”
Mating call of a blackbird: “Stick it up my ass Winston!”

Mar

chicken and prozzy

By adam gibson

in Animal Jokes

+20 -20

what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute/ chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do

Jan

Pet Parrot

By Dave

in Animal Jokes

+34 -34

My ex-girlfriend used to have a pet parrot. The thing would never f*cking shut up.. the parrot was cool though.

Mar

Web Designer

By Pete

in Animal Jokes

+27 -28

When I was a child I wanted to be a web designer. I’ve always had a fascination with spiders.

Sep

Honey

By SteveA

in Animal Jokes

+10 -11

Whoever discovered honey was a genius. He must have looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought:
“I bet those b*stards are hiding something delicious in there!”.