Most people think that when you find a discarded coin in your house it got there by accident but I actually think it was brought there by spiders trying to pay you rent.
Don’t you just hate it when your clothes mysteriously vanish and you get arrested for being half-naked in public. That’s the last time I ever wear Bermuda shorts again.
Just found out from the internet that heaven isn’t real. Apparently the bright light you see when you die is actually you being reborn and coming out of another vagina.