Best Funny Political Jokes

Heard on the radio today that global warming is being caused by methane emissions from cows. Does this mean scientists are finally admiting global warming is bullsh*t?

Just had the following conversation at the airport

Security: Do you mind if we search your luggage?
Me: It depends, what are you looking for?
Security: Drugs
Me: Well in that case, no!

Just had an email about a cheap holiday in Syria. Don’t think I’ll BEHEADING to the Middle East any time soon.

Top 5 worst things to say to airport security.

1. This pat-down is really turning me on.
2. I have a sword in my pants.
3. Would you like to buy some cocaine? I can give you a special deal.
4. Why don’t you get a real job you fat f*ck?
5. Can you hurry up please? My bomb is due to explode in about 30 minutes!

It’s sad how scary travelling has become since terrorism started.
I remember the old days when seeing an unattended bag made you feel happy because you could take it home without feeling scared and sometimes it had a laptop inside.