Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.

1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to blow money.

Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently “My dick”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”.

Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.

The following conversation took place between a 7 year old and his dad.

Boy: You know that thing between your legs?
Dad: Yeah!
Boy: Why do girls eat it?
Dad: How do you know about that?
Boy: I saw mommy eating uncle Jeff’s